lab 6:8 ~ 4/25/11

Posted: April 30, 2011 in Uncategorized

foundation source i choose = solitude

moving through arrival, sanctifying space, and warming up, solitude as my foundation source emerges as an experience of walking through a circus sideshow – perceiving each individual in their own foundation source truly within their own unique world, embodying their own source…the ah-ha that permeates me is that this IS how life is – like in the lab what i am seeing is an amplification or obvification of how we all are moving through our lives every day, the star of our own show, participating/embodying the energies and forces that we consciously or unconsciously choose as our sources on every level – emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual.  there is a tremendous lightness in this seeing, a relief in grok-ing how almost everything is deeply personal and totally impersonal simultaneously, that what i often perceive as personal coming from someone else or some situation is actually to do with the source of that individual or situation and not me – it’s not personal – and yet my own experience, and the way i generate perception, is completely to do with my sources.  will have to digest and integrate this one for awhile.  reminds me of the old burning man saying ‘no spectators, only participants.’  even the ‘spectator’ is a role that one chooses to participate in – or not.  it is very clear that the choice of solitude as foundation source has opened this set of insights to me – there is a deep inner participating in self and with/in other that solitude blesses me with.

in physical warm-up:  solitude as source of:  stillness, spine, core, stretch, heat.

group polarity ritual:  mother on left/west side of room, father on right/east.  after no-form, i enter father.  first experience is deeply personal, loss of and longing for biological father, grief, right hand reaching unmet forward into space.  moving through no-form, into mother, i hear “all mothers are daughters and all daughters are daughters of mother earth.” through no-form again, back into father, which i now experience less personally and more archetypally, a linear and directive quality of movement, the force of decision evolving into and committing to action.

group ritual:  no-form>mother>child>father>no-form.  mother and father have switched location in this ritual (father now west side, mother east, with child between, where no-form corridor was in previous ritual) which disorients me temporarily – but dissipates with no-form committment.  what stands out:  physical hunger in my abdominal core while in father.  father to child transition, movement is kneeling and scribing lemniscates onto the floor, a gesture of absolute and infinite teaching.  child to mother transition, movement is taking the father’s teaching and evolving it into full body gesture, world and self as axis of lemniscate, inscribed & inscriber.

group ritual ‘journey’:  no-form>mother>child>father>child>mother>no-form.  mother now south and father north, with child between.  ritual of ‘sustaining care’:  immersion in source and discovery of what that source cares and sustains care for.  as i step from no-form into mother:  expressing love & perceiving from love.  into child:  timelessness.  child into father:  bringing light of truth to father.  into father:  truth as source of place to stand, to place one’s feet, of stance in world.  father into child:  blessing of eyes, ears, mouth, nose, heart, palms, etc. with direct connection to/perception of truth.  into child:  receptivity, capacity to be filled by experience.  child into mother:  source of unique physical body, expressed as a soft slapping of entire body.  image of baby being massaged, softly slapped, at birth, to bring first breaths in.  into mother:  resilience and adaptability, fundamental response-ability.

i notice throughout all these group rituals a movement at transitions into child a physical level change, dropping to knees, feeling of literally coming to the level of child, looking child in eyes, and entering body/world of child.

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