lab 5:8 ~ 4/18/11

Posted: April 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

pre-lab wanderings around residential berkeley, blooming with wisteria, jasmine & roses:

beauty is not good looks or a cosmetic effect; beauty is contact with and revelation of the luminosity of the individual soul

my intention this evening is to recommit to vertical source and containment; to recommit to solitude – to the rich & unique solitude of my experience and expression – its luminosity and its shadows, its joys and difficulties.  this solitude can even be deepened with/by the presence of others sharing this Lab/ritual space with me.

lab foundation source choice = earth

i step into earth – deep barefoot direct contact mud squishing through toes feeling – and deep grief, core/heart grief at human turning away from human/earth mutual longing to know and be known (not understood or recognized, but known – interbeing), the long history and pathway of this turning away, currently repressed by most humans and being expressed by the earth/gaia through disaster/climate/dis-ease

in warm-up, earth is source of: stillness, spine, core, stretch, heat.  very different, emergent, non-directive/intuitive basis for movement, movement patterns that arise are slower, deeper, and generative of each segment’s ‘quality’

resistance/nonresistance as source

resistance/earth/nonresistance

ritual of each and precision in ritual

i experience both positive and negative polarities of resistance/nonresistance:

resistance ~ from a frozen and collapsed rigidity to the necessary firm appropriate meeting of boundaries generating movement and support as in birth canal or contact improvisational dance

nonresistance ~ from hopeless implosion or allowed violation to embodying the incredible radiance of the offering of the sun’s heat and light

then an integration experienced as a seed planted in earth and requiring both qualities for healthy growth – the resistance of seed coat and dirt, the nonresistance of earth and seed to penetration of light, warmth, air, water

journey:  sleep > dream > awake > resistance…first passes = immersion, second passes = finding ritual/precision

sleep:  gestating, compost, offering what is no longer needed

dream:  at first pointing fingers out – like ‘my’ dream/longing is out there/projected onto others, then becomes my own embodiment of inner source and offering vision seeds outwards

individual no-form into impersonal no-form:  impersonal no-form experienced as foundation source of union – including deep sexual union – found very sensual movement with tremendous breath and penetration of/by visual perception, merging with light of candle

earth really stayed with me throughout rituals as foundation source, and continues to imbue my experience, perception, and imagery

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